Especially in bed

So, who else is excited that Andy McKay got into the Black Caps?

Okay, that'll be me, his fiancee and Cameron Merchant (who seems just bizarrely excited about everything.)

I've been watching lots of twenty20, because I apparently have no life. But it has been rather good this year hasn't it? I love the way the Black Caps are actually getting to play on the domestic circuit, the way the games have been marketed, and the way it's no longer just a slog-fest with the bowlers going regularly for ridiculous RPO's.

Went to a thing for Wellington members and listened to Owais Shah speak. Sounded like a bloke not dead from the neck up, and quite nice to boot. He did provide more info about the food at Lords than I ever needed to know (it's really really good.)

Am I turning into a twenty20 convert then, you might be asking. Well, no, not as such. Any form of the game would gain an upswing in popularity having been marketed as aggressively as the HRV cup has. Free mini-bats make everything more awesome.

Summer Fail

Some of you will have observed that I am at home updating the sports blog rather than attending the hit-and-giggle game between Otago and Wellington at the University Oval.

That is because Dunedin has failed to have a summer and it is currently 6C and raining. And the weather's not too bad today, compared with, oh, the thunderstorms and hail we had on Thursday and Friday.

Maybe at this rate the sun will come out by March, but all the cricketers will be off at the IPL by then.

New year.... Same old Blog?

Well, Yeah. Kinda. Maybe I'll actually get my arse into gear now that summer actually appears to be doing it's thing.

We're having some twenty20! Yay! (and my God I am desperate because I'm only being a little sarcastic with that.

Northern have their fugly fugly pink uniforms, and even more fugly pink wickets and owned Auckland in their baby blue. I swear watching it on TV was like watching one very long Baby Factory commercial.

Then Otago stuffed them the next day and I am steadily getting greater and greater respect for That Other McCullum. (and he's not bad looking. But I'm not alll about that. Honest.)

And now I have to wait till the 6th until I can head back down to the Basin and watch Canterbury play the Firebirds. Let's hope in that time Michael Papps has decided that being a miniature santa claus isn't a good look for the new year.

And, that's me. I'd have kept up better if I wasn't in the gym all the time. No, really.

What a Parbola!

I thought Sky, quite rightly, stopped giving Jeremy Coney a platform from which to say stupid things?

Wonder if he'll be calling Brendon McCullum a velocipede again. Cos how does Coney know that Baz is the team bike?

Totally keeping a straight face...

I have Australian friends, I know they love their cricket team. So Muffin, Dan, Maddy, avert your eyes now...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... The Aussies and their awful uniforms have not made it to the super eight.

On the down side, this means we now have the ugliest uniforms remaining in the tournament.

MySky? My arse.

So, due to excessive MySky fail, I didn't see us have a wee wobble against Scotland, although I hear some of it was rather good. I also think having a game decided by seven overs of slog is retarded and indicative of the silliness that is twenty20 in the main. Although I am totally loving the upsets (well done the Windies!) I remain sceptical that this is the future of cricket.

And, for something completely different- Barbarians were funny and Luke McCalister seems to have eaten all the pies.
Roger Federer is now the best tennis player evar and I'm going to have to listen to the Mothership rhapsodising over him for a long while.
And, I'm over Jenson Button winning as the BBC commentators are becoming the most obnoxious things to ever grace the airwaves.

Why does my predictive text have 'fielding' but not 'field'?

So, we've got some cricket back, and the real rugby is just about to start - And I'm mostly wondering why they all have one season, but there you go.

The All Blacks are failing already this season - Richard Kahui is broken and with Dan Carter and Richie McCaw out we are not sure who will be bringing the sexy back for the AB's this year. Lets hope we find someone, or the Springboks will take out the tri-nations pretty award.

And I would like it put on record that we have to stuff the French in no uncertain terms or I will cry.

Annnnnnnd, onto the cricket - and for your daily installment of WHAT THE FUCK? England lost the opening match. Against the Dutch. Yes, I did a double take too. There are only four professional cricketers in that team, and the English have squizillions at their disposal. I dont know what happened, so would someone like to fill me in?

NZ play Scotland tonight, and if we don't win, I suggest all test-playing nations should pack in this twenty20 bullshit and go play tests, lest we all be deeply embarrassed.

And from the "Are we sure they werent playing cricket?" files, The New Zealand juniors rugby side beat Uruguay 75-0. Hat-trick hero was one (cleanly shaven) Zac Gilford. Yay.

Annnnnd lastly, the Cheap Seats would like to bid a not-especially-fond farewell to Andrew Symonds, who after further behaving like a drunken monkey has been sent home with his contract in tatters. After what he (drunkenly) said about our Brendon McCullum on the radio, I can't say we're sad to see him go. Well, I could, but it would be a lie.
Jesse, this is what happens when you don't get a clue. We're kinda glad to see you getting a clue, really.

Fiji, Baby!

Yes, okay, we lost.

But having never been to Hamiltron, City of the Future, before, I am finding it to be pleasant, warm and the stadium to be entirely awsome in a way that is reminicent of Athletic Park.

The game rocked too. All of it was exciting, but I knew when that fog rolled in that we would come off second best (Christchurch, anyone?) Those 'Canes need to learn to play under pressure, and not drop the ball all the damn time. Perhaps it was because they shaved. We, the public, are glad they shaved, however. I was also very impressed with the refereeing, and just... it was oarsome. The whole thing. Except the losing.

Then there was drinking. And now I am in a state that is not hung over, just merely over.

And now Im going to yell at the Crusaders tonight, because, well... We cant have a final in Saffrica, can we?

Enter... Cricket. The hit-and-giggle World Cup is coming up (I know because Iain O'Brien said so in his blog) And I would like to take a vote on whether it actually really matters. I vote no, because our uniforms are so silly.

Annnnnnd Because it's tangentially related to Twenty20 cricket (he does play it after all) here's Aiden Blizzard.

See, if he had been in that calendar, I woulda bought it.

Reports of my death have been mildly exaggerated

So, sports fans, I've been ill. Really ill actually, which is sucky.

BUT! I have been using the time when I am sprawled on my couch to do things like watch rugby and IPL and bad football movies.

So, how about that Super14. How awesome are the Hurricanes? Yes, the answer is "really really awesome." Although Stirling Mortlock was not hit by a meteor, he did get owned by Corey Jane, and his team got completely owned by the 'Canes. Eight tries. It was glorious to watch. It was glorious to be at (and I don't just say that because I get a kick out of being allowed to leave the house). Only bad point was the morons who sat behind me, giving the three people in Petone who aren't bogans a bad name. Bring on the Blues!

Though, note to said awesome Hurricanes, Shave. For the love of all that is holy, shave. Corey, this is especially relevant for you. That thing growing on your face is nastay.

Also mad props to the New Zealand Army team, who stuffed the Australian Army team 26-0 in the curtain raiser.

I really don't have much of an opinion on the rest of the Super14, except to say that I have watched the highlanders and can only come to one conclusion. Jimmy Cowan is a moron. (Seriously, who the hell picks a fight with AJ Venter?)

Oh, and the Crusaders lost to the Cheetahs. Hahahaahaaaaa...

And I watched some of the IPL, and really, just when you thought the uniforms couldn't get any more ridiculous, the Indians prove us wrong. What's happened to Brendon McCullum anyways? Did he forget to take his batting ability to the Republic?

Like fruit salad, here's some of everything.

First of all, my thoughts and prayers go out to everyone who was affected by the terror attacks in Lahore a few hours ago. It is reassuring to hear that the players are all out safely.

Okay, I'm back.

I have a room with no furniture, and it appears I also can has autumn. I miss summer already. The Cheap Seats have a hub, but no bar, thanks to the demise of the grand and glorious Bowler (Which Madame and I sent off in style...)

The twenty20's have been rife, with the Black caps making up for the utter fail of their run chase in Sydney by stuttering their way to two victories.
Brendon McCullum was amazing, despite not going for the gigantic fucking slog everyone seemed to think he had to carry out. Instead he, gasp, steered both our inning's in a fashion that was both entertaining and intelligent. If he keeps that up I might have to stop considering twenty20 the red-haired stepchild of real cricket.

Now, it should be noted that these games were played in February, which is still (though not in Dunedin) late summer. On the first day of Autumn there was another twenty20 game. Madame Backslash has already discussed the rain which ruined that one. The efforts of the ground staff were herculean, the Canterbury boys stealing Aaron Redmond's rugby ball was highlarious but watching Otago win by default... Uninspiring.

And just to top it off for the first ODI it is raining. In Napier. Napier is the place I gave myself first degree sunburns. It never rains in Napier. At least not in summer.

Although as I wrote this post I got to watch a replay of the game that I gave myself such horrible sunburn at, last time India played in Napier. I even wrote about it in my diary. The entry was emo, but that game was a good one.

And now for another episode of, The More You Know... *cue theme music*

They actually played CricketMAX internationals! (for those of you who don't know, if twenty20 is the red-haired stepchild of real cricket, then cricketMAX was the partial-birth abortion. It was like a forty over test match, one side batted ten overs, then the other, then the first side again, and the second. There was also the opportunity to get extra runs by hitting the ball into certain areas of the ground. It was terrible, and also entirely Martin Crowe's fault.) But apparently they played six international cricketMAX games, the last of which was NZ vs India in 2002. I got to watch the replay, and it was just as awful as I remember.
Note - 20 year old Brendon McCullum did in that game exactly what he did in the recent twenty20's. The boy has always been a class act.

As a nice slide from cricket to rugby, the Otago Highlanders came to play cricket against some students at Otago Uni today. They were good at batting, good at bowling but shit at catching. Which may go some way to explaining their current position on the Super 14 ladder. Jimmy Cowan especially seemed afraid of the ball. Which was yellow. And plastic.

Actually, given how bad the kiwi teams have been performing I don't think I'll talk about rugby, except to say that the Highlanders playing against the Crusaders as the warm up act for Shihad is O for Oarsome.
Oh, and big ups to the Hurricanes for beating the Crusaders. I'm going to be rubbing it in to Madame backslash for, oh, at least the next six months.

Wow... Long update is long.

Weather 1, Twenty20 0

So the Brat, the Weasel and I duly trundled off to the University Oval for the Twenty20 match, staking out our claim in the "family" (ie "munter-free") section of the ground.  Where we sat and drank beer (out of cans, blech) (except for the Weasel, who is underage, who had fizzy drink instead), ate chips and watched as they brought in a helicopter (aka "giant fan") to dry out the pitch and outfield.

Pitch duly dried and giant fan flown away... it started to drizzle.  And the drizzle got heavier and heavier, until it was actual rain.  The drizzle started at 4pm, and the match wasn't actually called off until 5pm, by which time the Weasel and I (who are clearly not as waterproof as the Brat) had bailed and called for extraction.

So it was an interesting experience, but it would've been nice to actually have, y'know, _seen some cricket_.

Oh FFS Dunedin!

It's common wisdom that February and March are the best, most settled weather for the pursuit of such outdoor activities as cricket and its close cousin Twenty20.  

I only have one thing to say to that:  Bollocks.

The State Twenty20 final is due to start at 2.30 today.  It rained buckets overnight, to the point where I got soaked to the skin during a ten-minute walk out in it.  And it was still raining when I dragged my hungover self out of bed at 9.30 this morning.

So, because it's not actually raining _right now_, they've decided to take some time to figure out whether to proceed.  The decision will be made at... 2.30.  When the Brat, the Weasel and I will already be at the Oval either getting wet or trying to find a place to put our blanket down where it won't be soaked through in five seconds flat.

Bloody ridiculous.

Posting while drunk - both big AND clever

So. One would think, from the lack of updates, That the cheap seats were done and I had watched none of the rugby.

But you would be wrong. I watched ALL of the rugby. All the teams I barracked for lost. And I watched the twenty20. And Vic beating NSW in the Sheffield shield. And I have been on an MCG tour.

But, being fatigued, exhausted and emotionally drained (not to mention having made a GIGANTIC arse of myself - sober - in front of Iain O'Brien) I'm not going to update about any of that. Instead I am going to pose this question

What is the correct response to the lyrics

I can tell you, my love for you will still be strong, after the boys of summer have gone?

a) But untill they leave I'll keep hooking into this cute Irish guy.
b)And at least as theyre leaving they still have their shirts off.
c) The reason they're gone is because Tori picked them all up last night.
or
d) And your mum?

See you back in kiwiland...

Guest Post! by an Aussie!

So Brendon McCullum is being borrowed by NSW for the KFC T20 final.
I'm a little conflicted on this myself, personally I wouldn't mind borrowing young Baz for a game or two, but cricket would not be one of the games.
I think it's a little unfair to the regular player who will be missing out tonight, and to the Vics who didn't get to pull in one of the best T20 players in the world at the last minute, and as a Melbournian that we didn't get to him first.

But un-australian Mr Symmonds?

Not on your life, "borrowing" something great from the kiwis is as Australian as Pharlap, or Neil Finn, or Russell Crowe (when he's winning shit, and not throwing phones at people).

The Muffin from Melbourne.

Boxing day Twenty20

Forget, for a minute, that we should be having a real boxing day test, but there is something else I need to draw your attention to.

We are wearing silver uniforms.

We are doomed.

Also, WTF is with the gold underarms? A wee homage to another Underarm Travesty?

ETA: A tie. Another one.

Now we have the farce that is the "super over"

Let me describe this to you in layman's terms.

The Windies get their over first, they choose three batsmen. New Zealand has one bowler and the normal field.
The kiwi bowler bowls the one over, the Windies batsmen attempt to slog the absolute shit out of it.

Then the kiwis get their over. Whoever scores the most runs in their over wins.

This is stupid. But less stupid than the old bowl-offs (ignore Mark Richardson, those things were awful)

ETA2: And, we lose. I blame the uniforms.