Saturday, January 31, 2009

Things I can admit.

I, The Brat, am often wrong.

I was wrong laughing about the prediction that us Black Caps could beat Australia.

Having Aus 154 for 9, was not something I ever expected to happen.

So. I was wrong. Let's hope I continue to be wrong.

ETA1: Im looking less wrong.

ETA2: civil war ended up being over whether we watched the cricket or the tennis. The Mothership won. Im glad Rog is losing.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Make love, not war.

I was gong to write something about the imminent civil war in my house, given Federer is playing Nadal in the final...

Then I saw this

I didn't know they molested each other in tennis! Excellent!

Monday, January 26, 2009

More Balls

So... Having been fired downsized, I suppose I should update more often. And I have been doing some sport watching. The Australian Open is on, and while I'm not really one for tennis [Edit by someone "nameless" - Yeah right, the Brat is into anything with balls] I've been quite enjoying it. I like Nadal, The Mothership likes Federer, so we have some good arguments about who is better. When neither of these people are playing we use a system to decide who to support. If it is a women's game, we support the woman with the dress we think is the nicest. If it's men's, we support the one we think is the best looking.

It, quite naturally, scares me when we agree.

I was very disappointed the other day when Federer came back from two sets down against Tomas Berdych, a tall, blonde Czech with cheekbones you could cut yourself on. The game from both players was a fantastic example of the psychology of tennis, and who had the mind game to win. I fully expect one Ken Hodge to be using the game as an example in his lectures next year. Great game to watch for more normal people too.

The Australian Open website is well designed with all the info you will ever need, so go check it out.

And in completely different balls, South Africa have beaten Australia. And of course here in New Zealand it's being talked about how this will be the perfect time to take them down, to win the Chappell-Hadlee and make them Aussies humiliation complete. I suggest the people who say things like that should have a good hard look at the way we have been playing recently. Because really. They're being a bit silly.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Guest Post! by an Aussie!

So Brendon McCullum is being borrowed by NSW for the KFC T20 final.
I'm a little conflicted on this myself, personally I wouldn't mind borrowing young Baz for a game or two, but cricket would not be one of the games.
I think it's a little unfair to the regular player who will be missing out tonight, and to the Vics who didn't get to pull in one of the best T20 players in the world at the last minute, and as a Melbournian that we didn't get to him first.

But un-australian Mr Symmonds?

Not on your life, "borrowing" something great from the kiwis is as Australian as Pharlap, or Neil Finn, or Russell Crowe (when he's winning shit, and not throwing phones at people).

The Muffin from Melbourne.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

The nice ones

Proving that she doesn't just blog about sport, but play it too, The Brat and my friend George headed out to do some pre-season football training. Partly to increase the chances of George making the A squad again, partly to get my new boots, which were cheap but may be the wankiest looking boots on earth dusty.

As we practiced our crosses, a sweaty man came over and in a very "Bend it like Beckham" moment asked if we played for any side. I responded in the negative, and he asked why, as we both looked as if we had talent. I called George over and she told him she played for Wellington United. I didn't mention I hadn't played for two years due to my body falling apart in undignified ways.

Sweaty man turned out to be Michael Utting, former All White goalie and someone who had the misfortune of playing for both the knights and the kingz. We shook hands, he wished us luck, and we said we would be about a bit so we might bump into him again.

We then grinned for the rest of the day.

It's quite a training motivator, meeting an old hero.

Monday, January 19, 2009

It's All About The Silver Lining

Jimmy Cowan has been named as Captain of the Otago Highlanders for this year's Super 14.

This means we have an idiot as our captain.

On the bright side, he appears to have gotten over his difficulties with alcohol, so we don't have a _drunken_ idiot as our captain.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Things I decided while drinking JB and gingerbeer

  • Sunshine - good. But not good enough. The Windies lost by 9 runs via Mr Duckworth and Mr Lewis.
  • Chris Gayle - good. But not good enough. His middle order sucked gigantic penis.
  • Man hit in face by six - funny for us, not so much for him I'd imagine.
  • Ross Taylor in the field - good. Took 2 stunners, one while running along the boundary. Infact the Black Caps fielding as a whole was good.
  • Batting wickets - nice for a change.
  • Scott Styris giving away team secrets - funny.
  • CONSTANT duck quacking noises from the stands - really fucking BAD. WTF?? YOU WANT ME TO GET MY SHOTGUN? DON'T THINK I WON'T!!
  • Simon Doulls hair - receding and greasy.
The crux of it all was we won the (serious rain interupted) series 2-1. Pity they didn't hold all the matches here in Nelson. We haven't had rain since Christmas and our ground is so small everyone could have had hundreds. Live and learn New Zealand cricket, live and learn.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Two Letters

Dear Jesse Ryder,

This is a serious letter as your drinking is obviously a serious matter.

You are talented.  Really talented.  But you need to address one fact.

You have a drinking problem.

The fact you can't have just one indicates you may be an alcoholic.

They say you're on your last chance.  I say that chance should be on the condition you show up to AA and take that first step.

Yours, the Kiwi public who just want to see you play.

Dear Martin Guptill,

The Cheap Seats are now officially starting you a fan club.  You utterly rule.



(PS, comment to join the Martin Guptill Fan Club)

[Posted on behalf of The Brat, who is locked in a tin shed with nothing but a stack of paper for company]

Friday, January 9, 2009

Notes on a rain delay

Basin Brat has asked me to make some comments on the 4th ODI in Auckland this afternoon as she is tied up in the lions den with a hot boy.

It was a great pity that the game didn't get to be played until the end, if only for Martin Guptill's sake (side note: having never seen Guptill play before I was expecting him to look more Jeetan Patel, less Sean Pollock).
His 122 not out on debut was the highlight of the match and to see him salute his home crowd was pretty damn special.

The Windies were just getting underway after the first rain delay, chasing a revised target when the covers came on again. We were treated to The Coolest Man in Cricket hitting it all over the show as he does and Chattergoon just getting into this stride. Alas the fickle January weather came in and ballsed up another game. You'd think this was England the way this series has gone.

Sky did make up for it by showing highlights of a match from the Teal Era. Back when Nash had hair and Parore was our angry little man. Chris Cairns was doing a fine job impersonating Burt Reynolds with his porny 'tache and Scott Styris was thinner. Back when we could beat a substandard outfit 4 matches on the trot and look damed stylish while doing it. Back when I knew the players in the team. Who the hell is Neil Broom??
I'm going to go and sit in my rocking chair on the porch and bemoan the youth of today because Sky has managed to make me feel old.

One other thing I'd like to say.
How many more chances does Jesse Ryder get? Seriously, the boy needs a good smack. Who is he screwing to have kept his job this long?
And same goes for Skippy Sinclair. Send him back to CD and throw away the key.

See you in Napier on Tuesday, don't forget the brolly,

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Fly-by updates

Notes on the game at the Cake Tin.

- See. Bowl first. Really, really bowl first.

- Who knew we could bowl like that? Really?

- A tip in the tradition of Pulp Sport, spirits can be gotten into grounds inside those big bottles of gum. Just take the gum out first, thicko. This will also leave you chewing gum for the next week.

- I had some pics, but they all turned out to be of Tim Southee. Sorry about that. And they get worse the more gin I drink.

- What were the young women draping themselves over Flynnyflynnflynn at 3am on and where can I get some?

- And finally seeing some live, international cricket? PRICELESS

Updates will continue to be sporadic as continue to work 11 hour days. Hopefully Madame can keep things ticking along. And keep an eye out for some guest entries!