Monday, February 22, 2010

Dee dee dee dee de de dee de deeeeeeee

Look, look, there's... Stuff. It's happening!

In random updates of news *cue news-type music*

The Phoenix are made of win and goalkeeping! It's the season that just keeps on giving! There was a fan day with the Hurricanes, and that was actually a whole lot of fun.

The Hurricanes are winning and the Crusaders are not! Haha.

The Aussies are coming! They have some very quick bowlers. I'm taking bets on how many concussions our lads end up with.

Brett Lee is retiring from Test cricket to play twenty20 and be bitter about women. Or something close to it.

Kane Williamson and BJ Watling win the men's one day title. I assume there were other players involved, but pft.

I still haven't paid attention to the Winter Olympics.

And I have participated in a podcast! Listen to me be drunk and opinionated with the dropkicks.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Is there anyone out there?

So, I say that I don't care about the super 14, then thanks to Corey Jane and the miracle of twitter, I kinda do. Might make it to the Canes versus The Force, but that'll depend on the weather and the state of my brain.

The rules around the breakdown are interesting, and I think the winners in the first few rounds will be the teams that concede the least ruck and maul penalties. Not sure if I like the new rules or not, once more it feels like just one step closer to league. Here at the Cheap Seats we regard league with contempt.

Not to mention if we get into a situation like last year where we get used to one set of crazy rules, then suck during the domestic test matches because we're playing under different rules.

There's also some cricket on! Yay! Unfortunately the cricket is rubbish. A one sided pasting isn't much fun, nor is the flat crawl that the Hamilton pitch seems to have turned into. I'm putting money on a draw, because wickets seem like a complete bugger to come by.

Not to be ignored of course are the wonderful inningses by Brendon McCullum and Martin Guptill. Definitely worth the price of admission (or a sky subscription) for that one. I think the most impressive part was the way they powered through the "nervous nineties."

I have so far ignored the Winter Olympics. Apart from the ice hockey, which is so much fun watch even when you don't understand it. They remind me of gorillas on ice-skates with all the padding. Not that I have ever actually seen gorillas on ice skates.

Right now I just wish Tim McIntosh would stop running more exciting players out and hit a few boundaries.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Yer wot?

I recently saw someone on the 'tubes describe Danica Patrick as "The Anna Kournikova of [motor] racing." (To be fair to him, I don't think he really believes that, but rather threw that statement out as a point of discussion. Well, it worked.)

To which I say BOLLOCKS. And this is for the following reasons:

(Yes, it's another list. Deal.)

1. Danica Patrick has actually won something.
2. The rules of Ms Patrick's sport were changed to make it harder for her to win things.

Neither of these applies to Anna Kournikova -- the first because she's not actually that good, and the second because there's no need.

Now, notice what's just happened here.

I've had to defend a sportswoman for actually being _good at her sport_ rather than mere eye candy. And, rather alarmingly, in order to do so I've had to denounce another sportswoman as mere eye candy, which made me more than a little queasy.

Now, as much as we on the Cheap Seats are partial to a bit of eye candy, I doubt very much that most professional sportsmen have to put up with the same kind of comparisons, at least, not on a regular basis.

As far as we've come towards equality of the sexes, sportswomen are still judged more for their looks than their ability, and the amount of training and effort they put in is seen as largely irrelevant as long as they look good doing whatever it is they do.

And even beyond that, it doesn't matter if Danica Patrick was the greatest Indy car driver the world has ever seen -- she wouldn't get a look in at an F1 race because... she doesn't have a penis.

F1, much as I love it (and I do, oh how I do) is probably the most macho professional sport on the planet. There are no female F1 drivers. No woman has even been given a trial (at least a serious one -- Red Bull gave Danica Patrick a trial as a PR stunt). And such is the machismo surrounding the sport, it's unlikely that any woman will drive in an F1 race for quite some time.

And you know what, that's just daft. Like any other discrimination it's judging people on criteria other than how well they do the job. And that's just stupid. For all we know there's a female Lewis Hamilton out there, but she'll never get a chance to show the world what she can do.

For fuck's sake, people. What century is this, again? When sportswomen are paid less than men for the same work, judged on their looks rather than their ability and outright excluded from the most prestigious and lucrative sports out there, one could be forgiven for wondering.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Wait... What?

So, summer has finally cranked it's creaky self into gear. It's warm. It's downright sticky. We're 2/3rds of the way through the domestic cricket season and 1/2 way through the home internationals.

And tomorrow the Super 14 starts.

It snuck up on ya, dinnit? Don't lie. Especially if, like me, the only chance you get to really read a newspaper is in subway. (Or, like Madame, you are stuck reading the Oddity.)

But yes. The Super 14. Interminable rounds which underscore summer's demise and suck the life out of players and rugby fans.

Maybe I'm a cynic.

Maybe I haven't followed rugby fanatically enough since Christian Cullen retired.

Maybe - Oh God, don't shoot me - I just don't care.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

A Pirate

That's what I'm dressing up for the Sevens as. Given that the last time I went to this awesome amalgamation of a rugby tournament and the 48 hour party the standard response to "I'm going to the sevens" was "Cool!" and not "What are you going as?" it's safe to say it's been a while.

The parade yesterday was a good way to check out the teams, from the delightfully awkward English team, to the Argentines - Who were using the water bottles they had been given to squirt each other and the crowd.
(note: all the players seemed to be really short, what's with that?)

Free random air NZ beads completed the experience. I'm all set for an awesome, if hideously spendy, weekend.

P.S. I wanted to dress up as a zombie, but that was vetoed. Bah.

Monday, February 1, 2010

Our Pick for the IPL

The Brat and I have been having a bit of a think about who we're backing for the IPL this year, and we have, miraculously, both agreed on a team.

Yes, campers, the Cheap Seats pick for the 2010 IPL season is...

For the following reasons:

1. Shane Bond. Yes, actually, he IS that good.
2. Ricky Ponting. Yes, he's Australian and yes, he is a bit of a prat, but he's still one of the best opening batsmen out there.
3. Brendon McCullum. Yes, he is that good-looking. And from Otago.
4. Ishant Sharma. For godsake just LOOK at him. Oh, and also he's a pretty good fast bowler in his own right. Might end up truly world-class if he keeps going at this rate.
5. They're named after one of the cheesiest television series EVER MADE. We at the Cheap Seats are easily amused and think that's fantasmic.

Exhibit A:

Sadly, my mate who lives in Bangalore has refused to go to the Royal Challengers Bangaluru vs Kolkata Knight Riders game holding up a sign saying YOUR MUM LOVES BONDY TOO on the grounds that it might get him beaten up.

Ah well, can't win 'em all. But hopefully the Knight Riders can.