Is there anyone out there?

So, I say that I don't care about the super 14, then thanks to Corey Jane and the miracle of twitter, I kinda do. Might make it to the Canes versus The Force, but that'll depend on the weather and the state of my brain.

The rules around the breakdown are interesting, and I think the winners in the first few rounds will be the teams that concede the least ruck and maul penalties. Not sure if I like the new rules or not, once more it feels like just one step closer to league. Here at the Cheap Seats we regard league with contempt.

Not to mention if we get into a situation like last year where we get used to one set of crazy rules, then suck during the domestic test matches because we're playing under different rules.

There's also some cricket on! Yay! Unfortunately the cricket is rubbish. A one sided pasting isn't much fun, nor is the flat crawl that the Hamilton pitch seems to have turned into. I'm putting money on a draw, because wickets seem like a complete bugger to come by.

Not to be ignored of course are the wonderful inningses by Brendon McCullum and Martin Guptill. Definitely worth the price of admission (or a sky subscription) for that one. I think the most impressive part was the way they powered through the "nervous nineties."

I have so far ignored the Winter Olympics. Apart from the ice hockey, which is so much fun watch even when you don't understand it. They remind me of gorillas on ice-skates with all the padding. Not that I have ever actually seen gorillas on ice skates.

Right now I just wish Tim McIntosh would stop running more exciting players out and hit a few boundaries.

"Sign her Tits Tim!"

And now your news from Sydney Australia.

Ive been to two games... In Australia. of course the first at the MCG was really brilliant, we won, I watched ostrich boy and Neil Broom (Broom, really?) win it for us. Elliott should have got man of the match, but having no hands, he couldn't accept a large cheque, so they gave it to pup. I was never worried about our state of the game, so long as we keep the Aussies batting boring, we would be fine.

They batted exciting today in Sydney. it was great. It was hot, (I have very bad bikini sunburn) and we bowled badly. Really really badly. Tim Southee was asked to sign Maddy's autograph book, whereby the crowd decided he should sign her boobs. Timmeee, next time you're presented with opportunity to sign a nice pair of tits, take it mate.

I though I couldn't love and respect Baz McCullum more than I did... I do now. So full of painkillers he could barely stand up, a face the colour of milk, sweating like it was the heat of the day in India... And he still smashes sixes. What a fucking hero.

Still 2-1 up.

Quote of the night comes from Tobias, the German in my room - "So cricket, that is kind of like golf?"

No Toby, no it is not.

Off the field my wallet has been stolen, I have no money, and am very sunburned. Bad, bad times.

Guptill fan club now has five members. Tomorrow I'll put it on facebook.

See yous all in Brissie!

Two Letters

Dear Jesse Ryder,

This is a serious letter as your drinking is obviously a serious matter.

You are talented.  Really talented.  But you need to address one fact.

You have a drinking problem.

The fact you can't have just one indicates you may be an alcoholic.

They say you're on your last chance.  I say that chance should be on the condition you show up to AA and take that first step.

Yours, the Kiwi public who just want to see you play.

Dear Martin Guptill,

The Cheap Seats are now officially starting you a fan club.  You utterly rule.

Love, 

Us

(PS, comment to join the Martin Guptill Fan Club)

[Posted on behalf of The Brat, who is locked in a tin shed with nothing but a stack of paper for company]