It's Test Day

And it's warm with clear skies.

I hope it stays like this. The Welsh don't know what to do if it's not raining.

Our Pick for the IPL

The Brat and I have been having a bit of a think about who we're backing for the IPL this year, and we have, miraculously, both agreed on a team.

Yes, campers, the Cheap Seats pick for the 2010 IPL season is...

The Kolkata Knight Riders!

For the following reasons:

1. Shane Bond. Yes, actually, he IS that good.

2. Ricky Ponting. Yes, he's Australian and yes, he is a bit of a prat, but he's still one of the best opening batsmen out there.

3. Brendon McCullum. Yes, he is that good-looking. And from Otago.

4. Ishant Sharma. For godsake just LOOK at him. Oh, and also he's a pretty good fast bowler in his own right. Might end up truly world-class if he keeps going at this rate.

5. They're named after one of the cheesiest television series EVER MADE. We at the Cheap Seats are easily amused and think that's fantasmic.

Exhibit A:

Sadly, my mate who lives in Bangalore has refused to go to the Royal Challengers Bangaluru vs Kolkata Knight Riders game holding up a sign saying YOUR MUM LOVES BONDY TOO on the grounds that it might get him beaten up.

Ah well, can't win 'em all. But hopefully the Knight Riders can.

When in Rome

Hello possums! Last weekend I went on an expedition to foreign climes, namely a hop across the ditch to Melbourne to watch a friend of mine get married. (And it did happen -- matrimony was definitely the winner on the day! I wish a long and happy life to Glasshopper and his new wife K.)

I love Melbourne and I'm rather fond of Australia, as it happens, on the grounds that it's just like New Zealand except for when it's really, really not.

One of the things I really love about Melbourne is that nobody follows rugby there -- everybody's into Australian Rules Football, aka "rules" or "footy".

How much are Melbournians into their footy? The first time I visited, I found myself with a bit of free time and had a look through a local paper. The page headed "Religion" held... the footy results.

Last Friday night I found myself in my hotel room with very little inclination to go out, and that Melbournian phenomenon, Friday Night Footy, on the TV. Collingwood vs Essendon, one of the great grudge matches between two famous teams. (Hell, even I've heard of them, and I'm a New Zealander.)

So I watched the game.

All of it.

All two hours of it.

Why, you ask?

Well, there are 22 reasons per team, each in superb physical shape, wearing singlet tops and tiny shorts. And doing a lot of running and jumping and kicking. Seriously, what's not to like.

And it's different enough from rugby that I was riveted for the whole time, trying to work out how the game play went. No, really. I watched for the game play. As well.

Interestingly, every single Australian I talked to about it said "That was a crap game!" I don't know enough about how the game works to know whether it was crap or not. It was entertaining, and I'd like to see more of it.

And not just for the singlet tops and tiny shorts.

Honest.

Helpful Terms

The All Blacks are playing France at Carisbrook tonight. I won't be going because it's no fun without the Brat, who is still suffering from a case of Wrong City Syndrome.

For those of you who are attending, here are some helpful terms that may assist in your enjoyment of the experience, with thanks to Babelfish for translation.

Your mum wears combat boots!

Votre maman porte des bottes de combat!

All of your base are belong to us!

Toute votre base sont appartiennent à nous!

For great justice!

Pour la grande justice!

Oh my god, there's an axe in my head!

Oh mon dieu, il y a une hache dans ma tête!

Jesus Christ, it's a lion! Get in the car!

Jésus-Christ c'est un lion! Obtiennent dans la voiture!

You are a velocipede!

Vous êtes un vélo sur rail!

The pen of my aunt!

La plume de ma tante!

The Italian Job

We nearly had one of the great upsets of world sport this morning. The All Whites squared up against Italy, one of the towering colossi of the soccer world, for a friendly match in Pretoria.

With the score at 2 - 1 to the All Whites at half time, yours truly was holding her breath (always fun when trying to work) waiting to hear whether or not they would prevail.

Sadly the answer was no, with the final score 4 - 3 in favour in Italy.

A round of applause (and a round at the pub, hopefully) to the All Whites -- scoring any goals against Italy at all is an achievement, never mind scaring them the way you did.

You've made this Kiwi proud.

It's Semi-Final Time

So it's Super 14 semi-finals weekend. The Brat has gone to Hamiltron, City of the Future, for the Chiefs vs Hurricanes game, where she reports she has found a bar with free bubbly for girls and a free bus to the game. (She always lands on her feet, does the Brat.)

The Cheap Seats' pick for this match is the Hurricanes, for two reasons:

1. They're the Brat's home team.

2. If they lose it means the Chiefs are in the final, and well, come on.

The other semi-final is in Pretoria tomorrow, between the Bulls and the Crusaders. Our pick for this match is the Crusaders, also for two reasons:

1. They're my home team (yeah yeah I've lived in Otago for 20 years, but they're still my home team, okay?).

2. If they lose it means the Bulls are in the final. And we just can't have that, can we?

Brat and I have a mutual support agreement in place for this set of fixtures -- I'll support the Hurricanes for the first semi and she'll support the Crusaders for the second.

If they meet in the final, all bets are off.

Oh my

Go and read this weeks's Field Theory blog entry over at Public Address.

No more need be said, really, does it?

Make love, not war.

I was gong to write something about the imminent civil war in my house, given Federer is playing Nadal in the final...

Then I saw this

I didn't know they molested each other in tennis! Excellent!

More Balls

So... Having been fired downsized, I suppose I should update more often. And I have been doing some sport watching. The Australian Open is on, and while I'm not really one for tennis [Edit by someone "nameless" - Yeah right, the Brat is into anything with balls] I've been quite enjoying it. I like Nadal, The Mothership likes Federer, so we have some good arguments about who is better. When neither of these people are playing we use a system to decide who to support. If it is a women's game, we support the woman with the dress we think is the nicest. If it's men's, we support the one we think is the best looking.

It, quite naturally, scares me when we agree.

I was very disappointed the other day when Federer came back from two sets down against Tomas Berdych, a tall, blonde Czech with cheekbones you could cut yourself on. The game from both players was a fantastic example of the psychology of tennis, and who had the mind game to win. I fully expect one Ken Hodge to be using the game as an example in his lectures next year. Great game to watch for more normal people too.

The Australian Open website www.australianopen.com is well designed with all the info you will ever need, so go check it out.

And in completely different balls, South Africa have beaten Australia. And of course here in New Zealand it's being talked about how this will be the perfect time to take them down, to win the Chappell-Hadlee and make them Aussies humiliation complete. I suggest the people who say things like that should have a good hard look at the way we have been playing recently. Because really. They're being a bit silly.