Following on from the Nightwatchgirl's lament that England could not come up with a naked cricket calender, due to having a team full of fugly players, I thought about the idea of having The Black Caps get their kit off and pose for the camera.
Cue the mental floss.
Aaron Redmond, cute but bald.
Iain O'Brien, best described as having a face akin to a Hitler weasel.
Chris Martin (though I think he's gorgeous) looking like gristle held together with packing twine.
Jesse Ryder... I'm sorry I can't keep a straight face when I picture him pouting for the camera.
Sure, Danny and Baz would definitely look nice in the buff, but by then you would likely have dug out your own eyes with a spoon.
So while our new uniforms may be hideous, at least we should be grateful that they are wearing them.
The All Blacks, on the other hand, should never put their clothes on. It would raise the aesthetic levels of the general environment to have Richard Kahui's muscular backside on display 24/7.
...
I'm sorry, I went to a very happy place there. Ahem.
In actual cricket news, the State Championship has started!
Bloody Auckland beat Canterbury last week, and they're on their way to beating Sexual this week. CD are 191/6.
In Wellington we welcomed the new cricket season by having a massive fucking storm, but Wellington and Canterbury managed to get out onto the Basin and Wellington are 155/2.
And Otago are doing what they do best, which is playing poorly. Northern are now 223/7.
Sadly my need for gainful employment is truncating my ability to watch cricket this summer. Someone should pay me to blog. (that sounds so dirty.)
What Shane Really Means is.....
11 years ago
5 comments:
I'd pay good money for 12 months of naked Dan and Brends.
I wouldn't but you know my views on Danny.
It's not because England players are ugly, they're just not photogenic. It's a curse and should not be taken lightly. In severe cases, hair may become very curly, you grow an oversized ego and end up with a silly surname.
There is a distressingly high proportion of ginger in the English team...
I don't mind the Black Caps new outfit, but I agree .. D & B sure could do without.
A Super 14 calendar a la Dieux du Stade would be a great idea too.
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