How Sex Should Be More Like Cricket

So this afternoon the Brat and I were discussing sex and cricket, as you do, and we came to the conclusion that sex should be more like cricket.

Yes, you heard me. Sex should be more like cricket.

And here's a few reasons why:

Five days, with breaks for drinks and dinner
Lots of ball polishing
Changing ends to avoid undue wear on the run-up to the creases
New balls every four innings
Teams of eleven with substitution allowed in the event of injury
An umpire to make sure everybody plays fair, with video adjudication for borderline cases
Proper use of protective equipment
Highlights on the big screen during drinks
Penalties for using the incorrect action
Bowling maidens over (you get to decide what constitutes "a maiden" in this case)
Practice time in the nets
Whites (the clothes)
Switching bowlers
Only playing in the sun
Shorter forms played under floodlights (prevents problems with bad light stopping play)
Hotspots, Hawkeye and ultra slow-motion replays
Commentators

Any additions/suggestions? Leave us a comment!