A couple of things

Firstly, you will notice that neither the Brat nor myself has said anything about the actual outcome of the Air NZ Cup final, after both of us posted our predictions.  

That's because the Brat watched the game and said it wasn't so much that Canterbury won (the final score was 7-6 in their favour), but more that they failed to lose.  C'mon, guys.  That's not cool.  Not sucking quite as much as your opposition?  That's not victory. It's the absence of defeat.

Secondly, tomorrow is the Melbourne Cup.  This is the one race a year I bet on, mainly because it's the one race a year I can bring myself to give a shit about.  I love horses, but the sport of racing just doesn't do it for me.  

Chances are I won't win anything, but I can't say I really care.  There's just something about the Melbourne Cup that has captured my imagination since I first heard about Phar Lap (who, despite what the Aussies might say, was a New Zealand horse).  

The whole of Australia screeches to a halt for this race. Melbourne Cup Day is a public holiday in the state of Victoria, in which the race is run. Most of New Zealand takes five minutes to watch the race (at 5pm our time). I'm no different. I'll be stopping in at my local TAB to watch the race on my way home from work.

So I did my standard "$2 each way on these three horses, please", with the following picks:

Septimus -- a likely favourite. Carrying lots of weight, decent barrier draw, like his form.

Nom de Jeu -- another front-runner. Stupid barrier draw (one! FFS, talk about trapped against the rail!), but nice form. Also like the name.

Newport -- chosen because I always pick a long shot and, well, Newport's just up the road from Cardiff and I'm a big ol' Torchwood fan. Yes, I usually have at least one pick in the Melbourne Cup that is for reasons this sad.

So yeah, the horses I pick will probably all have three legs and/or fall over and need to be shot. Then again, once every five years or so I'll have one come in and win me about half my stake back. Who cares -- this is the one race I just love. Bring it on.

Right, then.  

Air New Zealand Cup final is tonight; kick-off is in an hour and a quarter or so.

Wellington vs Canterbury, in Wellington.

Brat is a Wellington supporter.  I am a Canterbury supporter.

Here's my prediction:  No matter what happens, it's going to end in tears for one of us.  I don't think it'll be me, obviously.  I'm going for Canterbury by 12 points.

Entry fee to the next Actual Size Project event is riding on this, so Canterbury had better play their red-and-black hearts out.  Which they will, because that's what they do.

GO CANTERBURY!!

Rugby? At Labour weekend?

The Cheap Seats have a problem. Something of a war has broken out, over the Air NZ cup. For while both Madame Backslash and I live most of the time in the glorious city of Dunedin (enjoy your stay and have a riot!) I herald from Wellington and she heralds from... Christchurch.

While I appreciate that the Lions are underdogs I believe they have what it takes to pull off victory. The weather is total bollocks, the wind will spring up and the game will get scrappy. Wellington play bloody well when the game gets scrappy. They're utter bollocks when they have to put together set pieces, and if it was a clear night, Canterbury would wipe the floor with them. But this icky drizzle? I think it should give us the upper hand. And well... We want it. Not quite as much as we wanted the Ranfurly Shield, but we want it. Sure, Serge Lilo is going to have a tough game marking Richie McCaw. but we have the talent, we've got our All Blacks back (where's Dan then?) and we have Hosea Gear, a man who will be done a great injustice if he does not go on tour this year, cos he has been bloody awesome.

So my prediction? Wellington will take it. Just.

And now for something completely different...

One of the things I love most about Sky sport is what they manage to fish up when rain delays the cricket. Not only the very random medleys of tours set to pop-alt-rock but the old tests. Today we got NZ vs Bangladesh from back in 2001. Ahhh, the memories... Remember when Chris Martin had hair? Dan Vettori lacked a beard? Shane Bond was young, fit and playing? We weren't kitted out in what is now the most ridiculous uniform in world cricket?
Honestly, it was brilliant. In fact, at 25/2 I was almost convinced that we were watching it live.

ACTUAL SIZE!

Now, because procrastinating will totally help me pass my exams, I bring you the ACTUAL SIZE! project. Where I, the Brat, take photos of Madame Backslash and various sportspeople, in order to prove one of two things. Either Madame is very short, or sportsmen are stupidly huge.

Here is Madame, in all her 5'0" (while wearing steelcaps) glory.

Here is Toby Moreland, the shortest member of the Otago squad. He is listed on the ORFU website as 1.8m (5'11") tall. This is a gratuitous lie. The Brat is in fact taller than him. So here is Toby at ACTUAL SIZE!

And to continue to prove that Toby's stats are a lie, here is Chris Noakes, also listed as 1.8m, with Madame and her actual size sign.

Here is Craig Newby (1.89m, 6'3"), outgoing Otago captain and very happy man. He can kick conversions, you know.

This is Madame with Adam Thompson, whose stats are not listed on the Otago site. Looks about 6'4" dont he?

And we hit the tall timber - Seko Qaraniqio (no idea how thats pronounced, sorry) who stands at a whopping 1.98m tall - Thats 6'6" in the old vernacular.

And finally Ross Kennedy - 2 meters tall! More than a foot and a half taller than Madame Backslash. He was nice enough to kneel down at first for the photo, and seemed very surprised when we asked him to stand up. Chur Ross, we can gloss over the fact that Emma beat you on the rowing machine when she was sixteen.

Homlessness

So, here I am, in the rubble of my soon-to-be former house. The Tin Shed is going to be sold and I have a week to move my crap. I had relied on Wellington to boost my spirits by winning at the 'Brook, but Otago once again got their giant killer act on and stuffed them. I'm not sure WHAT Wellington were up to, or what the Otago boys had with their half-time oranges, but that second half was something very special. I don't think Wellington had the ball in Otago's half at all. Shameful display.
I was quite disturbed at just how good Ma'a Nonu looked compared to everyone else. How different a competition would the Air NZ cup have been if the All Blacks had been involved? Would there have been more than three men, a dog, a bunch of ex-Wellington College boys, Madam Backslash and I on the terraces?

The terraces are an interesting proposition. When packed with students they emit a life and energy that dwarfs anything short of the Wellington Sevens (which I will sadly not be going to next year.) When they're not full... You feel like more of a sports-yob just being there and cheering. I will be glad to journey north to my spiritual home of the Basin Reserve, where I always feel like a sports-yob just being there. And the ground staff know me by name.

But before then I will be homeless, both spiritually and physically, while I study for those pesky exams and watch the Black Caps beat Bangladesh. Onwards to the packing! (I don't really need three rugby balls, do I?)